Antithesis

Thanks, it has been a good run.

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:07:37 GMT

Hey there. I doubt you'll ever get to read this, but if ever you do, then let it be known that I have thanked you for everything we have seen, felt, heard, experienced, and shared for the past 4 years that we were together.

Maybe we'll talk someday. The ember is still faintly glowing, so I do need more time for it to completely die down.

Until then, good bye.

Rey

***

This marks the end of this blog.

A favor.

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 11:49:41 GMT

Give me strength, for me to last through this dark days.

Whoever you may be.

We are all..

Wed, 30 May 2007 04:12:35 GMT

Mortals. This is a grim realization of mortality.

Anytime you can pass on. ANYTIME.

Make most out of your time, while you still can.

RIP, Earl Andrew Gloria.

I'm for sale! LOL

Fri, 25 May 2007 05:44:41 GMT

I am worth $2,011,044 on HumanForSale.com
How much are you worth?

The long tube with a mirror...

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:16:51 GMT

And I've seen Saturn through it.

Goddamnit sister, I can't get this song out of my head, even though its meaning is not relevant to me.

TAKE THAT FRIGGIN PLANET AWAY FROM MY SIGHT!

It's making me mushy. >.<

Lol.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 03:02:41 GMT

8 months later and this blog kapoofs up like a mushroom.

And I just realized that I only have 2 friends. Haha.

I stare.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 02:47:35 GMT

Quite simply put.

A few months ago, I made an entry to show my frustration and desperation to my current way of life. I put it on personal view, since it was incomplete. A few months later, I haven't finished.

And everything is still, well, pretty much the same.

Why?

What?

How?

I am sick.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 03:23:31 GMT

Colds, sore throat, slight fever.

:(

Struggling.

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 06:26:27 GMT

Already talked it over with Mae, but I'll post it nonetheless. I lost my pc today- the motherboard, main hard drive, and processor to be exact. I felt bad especially with these two things: my sister had a deadline today which she failed to do last night and that all my documents and other important stuff were in the burned out HD which unexpectedly fucked up last night. I had the HD brought to a data recovery service company, hoping that they'll be able to recover my stuff. But it's a pricey deal-7k- if ever they do get to recover it.

I don't have financial support this time, and I am kinda at a lost on what to do. I'm thinking of loaning money...but @ 20k for a budget, it's a headache.

I'll still fight this though. It's all part of the battle.

Now if only I can earn money at Quezon circle...

Migrated :D

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 17:01:32 GMT

Yep, I was forced to finally transfer to livejournal after discovering that Blogspirit has a limited free subscription. It's better here anyway. hehehehe. Good night to all :)

The Salvo

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:14:14 GMT

And boy does it hurt.

But we all go through this everyday, right? I mean all the tribulations, trials, stumbles, fuck-ups, and any definition, term, cliché, or phrase that you can think of that connotes a negative event that can happen and will happen in your life.

Funny, I’ve been feeling how old I’m getting already, when just today a friend in YM told me, “Bata ka pa.” lol.

Well, I gotta push forward, no? I have a 2008 target to make.

My Battle- Day One

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:13:28 GMT

The Day One of the nth Battle of my Life. I have to start now; I actually must, even though I've been through countless beginnings and experienced numerous ends.

I'm off to that danged university. Wish me luck.

30 Hours In A Day

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:12:28 GMT

I remember having a chat with an officemate before about wishing for a longer day. He said he had so many things he wanted to do but had 15hours at most in a day to do it. I just laughed when I heard this, I thought back then that he can just work faster so he can accomplish a lot more.

I've been practicing that routine ever since I transferred to D7. I go to the office at 9 or 10, I work and work and work, I only eat whenever I feel hungry and I leave my area when I need to go to the bathroom or talk to someone else. I then go home between 6-10pm (10 when I'm having dinner with my friends). When I get home, I open my laptop and I continue whatever it is I was working on at the office. I go to sleep between 12 to 2am then I follow the same routine the next day. I can say that I accomplish a lot coz I give in a total of 10-15hours in a day working my ass off.

I was able to follow that routine diligently for 2-3 months max. I started coming in late coz I was working until early morning. Things are piling up one after the other and you don't know which one to do first. I was happy when my boss asked me to create my new team. I was like "Thank God! I have people who'd work with me. Its gonna be easier from now on."

Ahahaha! I thought things would ease up for me coz I would be "supervising" people. I thought that it was easier than what I've been doing back when I started...

I WAS DEAD WRONG!!!

My work doubled, not because my team isn't doing their share but simply because I have more responsibilities right now...I'm responsible for the operations, the people, the finances. I've been taught to multi-task, it's no biggie for me but it does take its toll on your work output. Instead of being able to focus on what you need to do, there are a lot of side works that you also need to address. Sometimes I wish I could just shrug them all off and just do what I want to do...but I then realize by doing so it is then the same as not doing my job. I ask myself a lot these days...who am I really?

A Part-Owner. A COO. A BookKeeper. An Account Manager. An Art Director. An Office Assistant. A Purchasing Officer. A Traffic Manager...

LOL! If you combine all those things, what would then be my title?

I'm glad my team is very supportive and willing to multi-task also. I'm very thankful that they have initiative. Sometimes though I feel awkward because I think they're doing the job that I'm supposed to be handling. Plus the fact that everything is still in shambles--no internet, no laptop, no fone lines, no jos. Sigh! They may not be complaining but just knowing that they are suffering because we lack a lot and me not being able to do anything about it makes me feel really bad about myself.

I wish I had 30 hours in a day, maybe with the additional 6 hours, I can then accomplish everything I need to do. Maybe things will be ok for everyone. Maybe I won't feel bad about myself. Maybe...

Blast from the past...

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:11:48 GMT

An infant suckling his mother's breast...such immesurable love. A five year old boy and girl giving each other a bath...innocent friendship. The first time you had sex...bliss. These are ideal situations from the past that you can never repeat in the future. Imagine you being a 23-year old guy suckling his mother's breast...eeeww. Or you asking your childhood girl friend to take a bath with you...as if she'll allow it.

As time passes by, things change and situations tend to evolve into something different. We need to change as well but...

"The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future, is in fact, a return to the idealised past."

-Robertson Davis "A Voice From The Attic", 1960

*points at the post below*

My tau tau is that kind of person and I think it's the reason why he's feeling down, unsatisfied and unhappy. There are a lot of things that can happen to a person, a lot of experiences, a lot of adventures...but how can you appreciate these new things in front of you, if you are always looking behind? How can you see the beauty or novelty of a certain thing if you keep on comparing it to what you've experienced or tried in the past? Each thing and event is a unique experience and should be looked upon with a fresh and open mind.

If you cannot let go of the past then you can never move forward. The past can either be a "ball and chain" or a "springboard--" Either it holds you back or it helps you launch yourself to higher places or help you reach your goals.

But that's only my opinion coz I'm the type of person who is always looking forward.

This trait of mine is a double-edge sword. I can honestly say that my life is exciting and not boring. Everyday is a day for exploring and learning. Another good thing about it is that I can think, plan, execute things in the present that will eventually pave the way for my future. Everything I do now , I do for a reason. It's easier for me to cope with change and to accept loss or failure because I am not your "stand-still" person. If I fail, I bitch about it for a while then I think of ways on how to remedy the situation. I do not waste my time feeling sorry for myself or wishing I did things the other way. I was raised with this in mind...

You can never bring back the past...you can learn from it though and learning helps you grow into a better person.

The downside of this is that I can never stay at the same place that long and I tend to forget about my friends and my roots. Often times people see me as unfeeling or uncaring because I'm not the sentimental type. Come to think of it, I don't like taking photos maybe because I do not feel the need for it anymore.

Ahahaha! I do remember the important events that happened to me. It's all engraved in my mind and in my heart...I think that's more than enough.

Am I losing it?

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:11:11 GMT

It’s a question that has been glaring in my head like a billboard neon sign on a blackest night.

Let me repeat it. Am I really losing it?

If someone is reading this, you might ask what. Unfortunately, I cannot give you a singular word, nor can I give you a clear and specific definition or term as an answer. However, I think I can give you an enumeration of things in my mind.

I’m losing self control. I’m becoming less responsible, lazier, more procrastinating, and one of the scariest realizations- less caring for people. I fear that I may be slipping to hedonism. I seem to have completely lost my drive to do my goals. I’m slowly starting to see my everyday life as a routine, rather than an innovation from yesterday. I’m losing my creativity, and I’m only hanging on to my literate sense. Every time I get nostalgic, it hits me hard. Real hard. Although the relations between me and dad are improving, it seems everything else around me is collapsing.

I feel sad, mad, angry, helpless, and a little bit happy.

I’ve been talked to, been counseled, been advised, sought for the Lord, lost faith in Him, became liberal…and a lot of other things.

Maybe this just stemmed from the last argument Mae and I had. I got such a slow damage recovery system unfortunately.

I’ll see in the next few days.

Saved by a shirt.

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:08:46 GMT

Today, I was asked by my dad to drive mom to the hospital for an EENT checkup. I'm still a bit uneasy about driving, since it was only last week that my dad finally gave me a probationary permission to drive the cars. The last time I drove was 6 months ago I think. Anyway it was almost a smooth sailing from my place to Capitol, until it rained. I was waiting my turn to go up the front of the hospital, which was inclined. The traffic around Capitol was piling up, and the rain was pouring, so when the torrent paused momentarily, my Mom decided to go down and walk. And here the fun begins.

I was driving our Lite-ace then, and I’ve to admit, it’s pretty hard to master. It was a bit of a nervous moment, since for the second time in my 22 years, I was alone in the damned van, in the middle of the traffic, under a pouring rain. I got more uneasy when the Jaguar moved a little bit closer behind, considering that I was on an incline. But people were waiting, and some horns were honking, so I decided to release the handbrake and move on.

Thud.

That was one sound effect I absolutely didn’t want to hear, especially when you have a multi-million car right behind you. I swore at that time that I pressed the gas, and released the clutch, but what happened was what happened. I bumped the freaking black Jaguar!

I quickly went out, and upon meeting the driver, apologized.

“Sorry, sorry!” It was all I can mutter

The driver retorted, “Sorry? Jaguar yan!”

Oh yes, all I was thinking at that time was, I’m absolutely in deep shit. People were staring, some were nodding their heads, as if to say, “Lagot ka!”

I rushed into the hospital, but my Mom already went inside the elevator. I was starting to panic then, and I could feel everything rushing up to my head. Eventually a companion of the driver (probably the bodyguard) asked me for my contact details. It was during this time that the owner came. He looked familiar, some politician I think, but that wasn’t the startling thing. What surprised me was his first question.

“Atenista ka ba?”

I was wearing my Atenean CWTS shirt.

“Opo.”

He then reached out his hand and shook mine. After a few words, all I can remember now was him saying that his insurance will take care of it, and it was no big deal. To make things more unnerving, he was smiling.

And so everything went back to normal after that, except me of course.

My Mom’s telling me my guardian angel saved me. Well if he/she did, I must thank him/her for using my shirt for that save. Hehehehe.

What a day this has been.

Harshest Critic

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:07:20 GMT

This week is a meeting week...ugh! Everyday you need to travel from here to there and then back again...so tiring! Not to mention that it burns quite deep a hole in my pocket because cabs are soooooo expensive! Ahuhuhuhu!

MUST GET A CAR!!!!!

I'm at a loss as to what car I should buy. I don't really know much about cars...actually, I don't have a license to start with. LOL Must get my license first and then buy a car.

Sigh! Speaking of meetings, we had one yesterday. I was informed the day before but I had no idea what's the meeting for or about. My boss was the one who told me about it, the conversation was something like this...

Boss: "Mae, don't forget the meeting at 8:30 tom for nfkjaheflabsl"

Mae: "Huh? Who's the Client again?"

Boss: "8:30pm for cbeubflaskbfo..."

Mae: "Uhhh, ok *smiles and nods*"

Boss leaves in his expensive car and I just scratch my head...

Turned out, it was a secret meeting for all those people who got absorbed by the new company/s after my old company closed operations.

It's a secret meeting so I won't divulge any of the things that we talked about over a fried chicken dinner. I'll just talk about how I felt after...

I felt unsure when I should've been happy and proud.

I was brooding all the way home. I just realized I'm the youngest VP in the company...everyone was in their 30's and I'm only 25. I'm the only one without a Marketing degree under my belt. I have the youngest team but we're running the largest company.

Taking into consideration all those things that I lack or I consider problematic, I should actually be proud because I've been receiving a lot of praises from colleagues and friends about my job despite of those things.

Why am I not? Why the hell do I feel shitty then when I criticize myself?!

I'm ok with accepting criticism from others, I usually defend myself but I make sure to consider what was said to me after an argument or conversation. I feel I can become a better person with other's criticisms and I'm strong and mature enough to accept them. I can also shrug off their comments because I can make the excuse that they don't know me that well or they're misunderstanding me so it's all ok.

Then it hit me--I feel shitty because I can't lie to myself, I am my best and worst critic. The question here is, can I cope up with MY demands, MY criticms and MY bitchiness?

That made me laugh. ^_^

Fornication

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:06:54 GMT

A poem by Robyn Scott

Sex is a transaction,
With emotional currency,
You're either lucky or an arsehole,
If you're getting it for free,
Some are prepared to barter flesh,
For company or affection.
A house, a car, a family,
Money or protection,
When morality is attached to
Guilt can reduce the pleasure,
Whereby with uninhibited
Comes ecstasy without measure.

There are those whom believe that,
Sex is just for procreation,
While there are others for whom it is,
Their favourite recreation,
There are people who only have,
Sex over the phone,
And others who are happy,
To do it on their own,
There are some who really get off,
On lingerie and leather,
And those who simply prefer,
To masturbate together.

I can't think of anything better to write..*shrugs*

"There goes little kitty plushie's bloggie bloggie..."

And so goes the wheel.

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:04:41 GMT

First off, i don't know what's wrong with my biological clock. For the past months, I have been getting the urge not to sleep until it's waaaay past bedtime. Yeah, way past like 1 or 3 am. Am I starting to be an insomiac? >.<

I made a post in a forum about the Larios-Pacquiao fight yesterday. Here goes:

Yeah, i can somehow relate to the ranters back on our YGroup. I mean, for sure there will be people who will be pissed off the way this whole boxing event was milked clean and dry of money. Economics-wise, its understandable- and for me, it's containable.

But I think the line was crossed yesterday. Simply put, why the hell did you pit mexican fighters versus filipino pugilists in undercard matches which are judged and refereed by pinoys?! I mean, what the hell is up with that?! Letting Gerry Peñalosa win by a blowout unanimous decision? Talk about fairness. It was a good thing that some of the Mexicans, including Larios, were good-natured boxers.

This can blow this made up rivalry between Mexico and Philippines to proportions unknown. There's nothing to cuss and rival about with Mexico- in fact, we are alot similar to them. But of course, a capitalist has to do what a capitalist must do right? Nice way to give my home course a good name, Mr. Lopez.

Ok, rant off.

Feel free to comment. I just had to let this out.

Yeah, it was what I felt about yesterday’s fight. The main event was good enough, but the undercard matches were rotten apples. It’s frustrating that we somehow manage to show to the rest of the world how rotten some Filipinos can get. And it’s usually more than enough to taint the reputation of the whole country.

Anyway, my dad finally let me drive yesterday. It was a step further on establishing ties, although my eyebrows met with some of the requests (or were those demands? Hehehe) he asked. Anyway, the only opposition I can make is forcing me to go back to the Neo Catechumenate. If they only knew my standing on religion.

That’s it for today. Ciao!

Nth blog and counting...

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 15:52:01 GMT

Ok, so this is the 3rd blog for me and the 6th for her. I'm not really a blogger, BUT i am going to take this joint-account-type-of-a-blog into consideration. Besides, we're talking about a combo blog with my better half here. San ka pa? lols.

By the way, this is Rey, the male part of the best antithesis in the world. =p I'm gonna take up the blue color for my font, as a means of distinguishing whos who. :)

And I'm the female half. In our relationship I'm the shy one, the soft-spoken, innocent girl who rarely gets mad. I'm the one wearing the halo. I just follow what tau tau tells me to do and I rarely speak my mind coz I'm afraid that people will get mad at me. I hate fighting and I am a romantic at heart.

I'm also a liar.

LOL

"So there goes widol kitty plushie's bloggie bloggie..."